The Great Flood

Let me preface this by saying that the story you are about to read was dragged up from the deepest depths of my memory, so forgive me if I used some creative license in order to fill in the gaps. The basics of what you need to know is that I was a chronically shy child, sometimes to my own detriment, and my worst fear was being noticed. With that, let’s begin.

Our tale takes place in Mrs. Sap’s kindergarten class, during circle time. Mrs. Sap was reading If You Give a Mouse of Cookie to the class when Yours Truly suddenly felt an impending nosebleed. Now, to quote the great John Mulaney, “Remember being 12, when you’re like, “No one look at me or I’ll kill myself?”” Thats exactly how I felt in most social situations. So, despite my urgent need for a tissue, I did not have the courage to get up and acquire one, because that would mean going to the front of the room where everyone could see me.

So instead I waited until another girl got up to get a tissue, and in my infinite five-year-old wisdom, I concluded that if I followed her to the tissue box I would practically be invisible. So thats exactly what I did.

However, Mrs. Sap decided to put me on blast, because apparently I was being “disruptive”. So there I stood, in front of the entire class that was now staring me, tissue box merely millimeters away from my fingers. And that, my friends, is when it finally happened. I had the most epic nosebleed of my life, perhaps of all time. And with that, the classroom was plunged into chaos.

You might be asking what the moral of this story is, and honestly there isn’t one because it’s a very stupid story. However, it taught me a valuable lesson about who I am as a person and how that affects my life. I’m an introvert, always have been an always will be. But I’m not going to let that be a downfall anymore–instead, I’m going to use it to my advantage. And hopefully, if I ever feel a nosebleed coming on, I’ll get a damn tissue.

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