Contemporary music festivals are a hot commodity in the United States, but one with a severe drug problem. In Daniel’s paper about the drug problem at contemporary music festivals, she makes a very good argument. She uses robust vocabulary to establish her command over the drug crisis going on at contemporary music festivals. This strong vocabulary is seen throughout the duration of the paper. Daniels is also reliable at demonstrating her command and authority by backing up her facts with quotes from valuable sources. An example of this is when she mentions how drugs are a crucial part of much contemporary music festival attendee’s experience with her quote from Franciotti. Her essay is also effective at helping the reader understand by sympathizing with some victims of the drug crisis. Her paper, “The Drugs, Death, and Rock “N” Roll” is perfectly timed. Right now, contemporary music festivals are more popular than ever, and the legalization of drugs such as marijuana across the United States makes this very relevant. Overall she did a very effective and compelling job getting her argument across to the reader.
Daniels wrote an influential paper with a solid argument. She asserts her authority throughout the essay. Daniels is very good at demonstrating her knowledge of Drugs, Death, and Rock’ N’ Roll by being assertive. She is also good at using people who have established their authority to develop her own. Her logic is sound and is easy to follow. She consistently breaks pieces down to help the reader understand the individual elements of her rather complex argument. The only part of the paper I would have recommended she improve upon was that personal connection to the reader. I feel that she could have been much more effective by including a short story of someone affected by music festivals that was not all facts. I think this would have helped the reader relate to her argument, especially if they have never attended a music festival before. Adding this emotional element would be the only thing I would change. Her lack of emotion made it difficult for the reader to relate to the essay, but did not take away from quality of her wiring.