Astraphobia

My early childhood was like any other elementary school kid; simple, carefree, and playful. Only there was one problem that I had that didn’t seem like any other kid my age had. I had an irrational fear of thunderstorms and lightning. All of my friends did not have this problem, neither did anyone in my family. I felt alone, misunderstood, and desperate for some help. My mom, Angie, and my dad, Jay, were the biggest supporters of me, of course, as well as my friends’ parents, like Mrs. Mankus, and older family members. However, my friends didn’t really understand my problem, and that hurt a lot. The people I related to the most and cared about the most couldn’t relate to me, so I shut myself out to them and didn’t want to be around them anymore. It was hard to deal with, but it was the only thing I could do to make myself feel safe. I had an irrational fear of thunderstorms and lightning.

      Being around friends was the hardest part because of me fear. If I was alone in a storm, I would usually hide under a blanket, out in headphones, and try my hardest to not hear the thunder. However, when I’m around friends and don’t have all of those things, I have to keep calm and act like the storm isn’t bothering me even when I am terrified inside. I remember at one sleepover at my friend’s house, I let my calm slip and turned into a scared 10-year-old boy, huddled in a corner secluded from everyone else. My friend’s mom, Mrs. Mankus really helped me calm down that night even in one of the biggest storms I have ever been in. She grew up in western Oklahoma, also known as Tornado Alley. I couldn’t imagine growing up there with the state I was in, especially when what I feared the most in storms is the chance of a tornado touching down. I remembered her saying, “It’s okay to be afraid, everyone is afraid of something.” I didn’t believe her though; all of my friends were still running around having fun and laughing while I was still huddled in a corner. This was the hardest part about my fear and the only part I couldn’t understand.

      I remember coming home on the last day of school for my fifth-grade year. It was a clear sunny day with not a cloud in sight, and I spent that afternoon playing video games without a care in the world. I was enjoying my day when all of a sudden, an alert came on the tv saying there is possible tornado conditions in your area. I immediately turn on the weather channel and call my dad to tell him there might be a tornado. “Oh don’t worry Caeden, there hasn’t been a tornado here in Delaware since forever” he says. At this point I am freaking out trying to calm down when the weather channel says the tornado watch is now a warning. I call my dad again and he says the same thing. Right when I ended the call, I noticed the wind pick up and all the flowers and bushes in our front garden whipped around in the wind. I wasn’t sure if it was just wind or it was an actual tornado, until I heard what sounded like a train going by my house. I then sprinted and looked out the window only to see a dark column of spinning clouds barreling down my street and tearing down power lines. The tornado was categorized as an EF 0, the lowest grade a tornado can get, but since it rained before it touched down, the ground was soft and it ripped up plants and knocked over huge trees.     

 After that day I wasn’t afraid of storms, thunder, or lightning again. In fact, I like watching storms come through and seeing the elaborate lightning strikes across the sky. I faced my biggest fear and that’s what helped me get over it, not the people I cared about telling me I would be okay. It can only take five minutes to change your feelings and view of the world