E110 FA19 Class Blog

By Maya Walker

Thesis is mental health

Thesis is there to tie in on the whole article and why it is important

Pathos by talming about her wanting to kill herself

Logo evidence by backing up her imformation with research

Ethos making audience care by showing how memes lead to mental illnesses

Since I’m ill and maybe contagious, today’s lesson will be here, on the blog. (This is also a weird meta-lesson on affordances, since today’s class would have involved youtube clips which are actually really easy to insert and discuss here.)

Recap!

So, last Thursday, we covered the basic components of style and the basic ingredients of an argument. I also assigned the first major paper, the Summary-Analysis-Critique, where you choose an Arak Journal essay to write about (instructions on Canvas). To reiterate briefly:

Style is the “personality” or features of communication–you have a style of speaking, for example, and you change it up based on situation and audience. Style is recognizable and usually personal. It’s composed of four basic threads:

1. Structure: how sentences, paragraphs, and whole essays and discussions are organized. Everybody has a different way of organizing thoughts–are you a short, choppy sentence person, or a long, run-on sentence person, and how do you tell stories?
2. Diction: basically, word choice. You make decisions on what words (and what kinds of vocabulary–fancy, technical, slang, funny) you want to use.
3. Persona: the version of yourself, as the speaker/author, that you present. This is a collective product of the other three aspects of style, but it’s very important to identify.
4. Tone: the emotional register of your communication–is this essay sad, dry, funny, precise? This is a product of structure and diction, in particular.

Arguments work via four approaches, which are usually all used together to make an argument work:

1. Ethos/Authority: moves which make the author seem credible and knowledgeable. Everything from using sources to not having stupid typos.
2. Pathos/Emotion: moves which generate human interest or an emotional response. Things like sad stories, relatable examples, and (in the case of bad arguments) emotional blackmail (e.g. those “support our troops/kids/puppies and like the post” viral posts your weird Aunt Sharon puts on Facebook.)
3. Logos/Reason: moves which connect points together logically and support them with relevant evidence. Self explanatory.
4. Kairos/Occasion: the secret sauce of the argument burrito–being relevant and timely.

On Thursday, I asked you to select an essay from this year’s or 2018‘s Arak Journal and write a quick summary (350 words or less). A summary is an objective report on what occurred in an argument, usually phrased like “The author argues X. To do so, they begin by doing Y” and so on.

New Stuff: Analysis

Analysis of an argument is essentially this: go through an argument and identify the argument’s approaches, typically on the sentence or paragraph level, and explain how they work together. Here’s a checklist for analysis:

1. Identify the thesis and its location. Why is it there?
2. Identify the target audience and the moves the author makes to reach them. Who are they? What do they want? What does the author want (see thesis)?
3. Identify how the author uses logic and evidence (logos)–what kinds of evidence? Where is it? Are there gaps?
4. Identify how the author constructs authority (ethos). What’s the tone? How does their diction make them sound smart to their target audience? Who are they citing as evidence?
5. Identify emotional aspects of the argument (pathos). How do they make the audience care about their point? How do they use relatable or relevant examples(secretly also kairos)? Is it honest or manipulative?
6. Also, make a note of things like “Is this a moral argument or a rational one?” and “Do they undercut their point in practice at all?”

Here’s an example from Mya Soukaseum’s “The Price of Beauty” Arak Journal essay’s first paragraph (she was my student, so yay):

To do analysis on your chosen essay, you may wish to copy the text of it into a Word or Googledoc and annotate it using comments. Alternately, you can print it out and write on it. This will come in handy for this week’s blog post and homework.

Analysis Activity: Dishonest Arguments

Now that you’ve got the basics of analysis down, watch the youtube clip (from the film Thank You for Smoking) below. The first time, just watch the clip. Then watch it again, taking notes on how it performs its argument (and what the point of that argument is). It’s fairly easy since the main character is narrating at you.

ANALYSIS SPOILERS/ANSWERS BELOW

Note that this clip features arguments on two levels: the most obvious one is the argument Nick is making on the talk show about cigarettes. The second is the argument he makes to the audience of this film about why you should follow him as a main character.

The clip begins with Nick building up his ethos/authority as a character you should pay attention to (while also being a toxic male, surprise.) When the talk show starts, note that he raises his hand and interrupts the host’s introduction. This move is called “out-fronting,” or more commonly “getting out in front of” an argument–politicians and celebrities do this during scandals, for example, by admitting their wrongs and talking about them before anyone else does. This lets them set the tone and the context for all following discussions, based on a psychological principle where human beings generally believe facts they hear first, rather than follow-up facts later. This is an ethos and pathos move.

The next move (about 0:40) is the “logical” argument about killing customers–Nick drops a “callous” argument that sounds logical (but which manipulates the scale of the issue–a common sophistry tactic–by pretending any one customer makes a difference in smoking’s profitability) and then panders (more pathos) to the audience. He then accuses his opponent (who he’s interrupted) of emotionally manipulating the audience and profiting off the whole controversy (pathos, but evil pathos).

The next move (about 1:17) is another scale manipulation: he announces a “50 million dollar campaign” to convince kids not to smoke, as if a cigarette company would do a good job of that, and as if 50 million dollars was a lot of money (audience awareness: it is a lot of money to one regular person, but it totally isn’t to a tobacco corp). Then he pulls more classic pathos manipulation with the “America’s children” thing. The end result is he wins over the audience at home (the whole point) even if his professional opponents are totally annoyed.

Now watch this clip, a scene between Nick Naylor and his son, where he teaches him about sophistry (dishonest or disingenuous argument about winning rather then being right) but also makes a key point about audience awareness.

Last Thing: Fallacies and Manipulation

Since apparently it’s important now to teach people how they’re being lied to (this is a joke–it’s always been important), the arguments in these two clips are both good, analyzable arguments and totally unethical, manipulative BS. (Spoilers for the movie: Nick pays for his career like I did for my old one.) There are several “fallacies,” or argument rule violations, in the clips above. Here are some common types of fallacies that you’ll see in real life, which actually invalidate arguments but which are often used to manipulate audiences into believing them:

1. Ad hominem: attacking your opponent personally instead of attacking the point.
2. Slippery slope: if we allow X, eventually we’ll allow Y (which has some weird, tangential relationship to X.)
3. Straw man: where you attack a stupid or simplified version of your opponent’s argument instead of their real argument.
4. Reducing to Absurdity: taking a point (usually one you disagree with) to an absurd degree. “If we’re going to tax cigarettes, we might as well tax butter, and red meat, and sunlight, since they all cause cancer.”
5. Reducing to Hitler (a.k.a. Godwin’s Law of Internet Arguments): comparing your opponent to Hitler via some specious comparison. “Hitler was a vegetarian so all vegetarians are fascists.”
6. False Binary: where a complex decision is rephrased as a yes-or-no situation to eliminate moderate or intermediate positions.
7. Bandwagoning: appealing to popular sentiment or belief, even though things that are popular are not always right.

Homework! Yay!

Your blog post this week is an analysis outline of your chosen argument. Read and outline the argumentative moves of your chosen Arak essay and post this on the blog. You may outline in any way–bullet points, roman numeral, you can draw a diagram and then post the picture, whatever. You should read the outlines of other people working on the same essay as you–this week’s blog is a note-sharing activity. Unusually, this post is due WEDNESDAY NIGHT.

Your longer-term homework is to write your analysis of the essay’s moves and how they fit together, about 500 words. This will not be collected, but does form a large part of your future major paper, so do this writing this week.

I know this is late, and I am so sorry.

My entire high school career, my parents have lectured me on the importance of junior year and the first marking period of senior year to colleges. In my junior year, I started off with an F in my math class. I had a B in the course initially, but scored very low in the last test of the first marking period and my grade tanked. My confidence dropped and my stress level increased. I did not know what to do and I was scared to ask my parents to let me get a tutor. I almost believed that I deserved to fail. If it weren’t for the push from my teacher and the support of my friends, I would not have reached out for help. I would not have known how much reaching out would affect me, or my grade.

Of course, I panicked. I had a failing grade in a core class. My high school did not follow the Common Core curriculum so the school was known for being difficult and the ‘smart school’. We had different “phases” that depended on how well you did on the entrance exam, that ranged from 3 to 5, typically everyone tried to stay in phase 4 or 5, that were the ‘normal pace’ and ‘fast pace’ phases. I was in all phase 4s and 5s which wasn’t really a huge accomplishment. Being able to keep As or at least high Bs in these classes was expected. If you had to “phase down”, it was almost like you became someone who would not be able to succeed in life. It was then when I realized that the students tried to keep up the image being a smart school, and it was not just pressure from the faculty. The atmosphere of the school was almost suffocating. And since all of my classmates were intelligent and in higher learning classes, I felt beyond inadequate. 

My teacher, who had just come back from maternity leave and had no knowledge of my previous grade in the class, was obviously concerned, and tried to phase me down so that I would not fail Math Three. I refused, but my parents argued with me that I needed to improve either by phasing down or getting help. Phasing down was not an option in my mind. I have always been anxious about asking others for help, and I still am. After arguing with my parents about getting a personal tutor, my dad found me one, and instead of phasing down, I tried to boost my grade in the class. My parents and teacher wanted me to phase down but this was the last thing I wanted to do. I ended up with a high C on the next exam and my teacher allowed me to stay in the class. I felt like I got out by the skin of my teeth! The next marking period, I received a C on another test as well as the midterm. Third making period, however, I got a B. Learning the material beforehand with my tutor helped me to raise my grade in the subject. 

A group of friends and I made a small study group for classes that we had together, and in it was a kid in a higher phase of our math class. The kid was my friend Patrick, who would answer our questions and show examples on screen like Sal from Khan Academy, since we would skype and study. The other two in the call were friends from my math class who were just as lost as I was. Patrick taught us the next lesson topics prior to class so that we would have a better understanding. My tutor was pleased with my progress! I ended up not seeing him as often because I was becoming more confident with my math skills. I was getting A’s and B’s on my quizzes and tests while also bringing up my course average. By spring, I stopped seeing my tutor for math help entirely. My teacher was no longer worried about me, and was pleased that I put in effort to be prepared for class. 

In the fourth marking period, I got an eighty-nine for the marking period which, unfortunately, broke the ascent of my letter grade. However, I received a ninety-three on my final. I went from an F on the first test to an A on the final. This was a huge jump and I am proud of myself to improve so much within the school year. Learning from that, I began learning calculus before the school year so I would not struggle so much in the course. I even stayed with my tutor for SAT preparation and studying, each time being able to boast on how much I have improved. I understand that while it can be frustrating and frightening, reaching out for help and learning beforehand with people I am comfortable with can allow me to improve incredibly.

Two years ago I went on a trip with my classmates to Greece and Italy. The only person who I really knew who was also going was my best friend. It was beautiful and I learned to keep moving on, even if plans get messed up. I also made a lot of new friends and became closer to my best friend. Seeing other cultures allowed me to see how much America was in a big rush and people seemed to keep to themselves more.

At Sherwood High School, students were not allowed to eat in their cars during lunch. However, my friends and I chose not to follow this rule and continued to evade the security guard in order to do so. Every day was a constant struggle involving going to the car undetected, ducking down whenever the golf cart appeared, and not playing our music too loud. Little did we know that our little habit would lead to a huge ugly bump developing on my forehead.

It was a regular day – fourth period had just ended and my friends and I were headed to the parking lot for lunch. As we approached the door, we peered through the narrow window for signs of Jeff, the security guard. Jeff was notorious for driving around the parking lot on his golf cart trying to bust kids for eating in their car at lunch. 

The first step in our routine was making it past Jeff in the first place, so we had to check he was nowhere in sight in order to dash to my car. We thought the coast was clear, so we burst through the doors and begin to creep to the parking lot, when suddenly we realize Jeff was outside in a place we could not see from the window. I whipped my head around to dash back inside at the same time my friend Olivia slams the other door open, which results in my forehead colliding with the corner of the heavy metal door. I grab my head and sit down, cradling my injury. Not even 10 seconds later, I release my hand from my head to see the damage. As soon as I do so, my friends gasp and start stifling laughter. Confused and in pain, I take out my phone and turn on the camera. I was completely in shock as I looked at myself on my phone – it looks like I had a golf ball growing out of my forehead. As soon as the pain subdued a little bit, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Did that really just happen?

After taking plenty of pictures and making fun of me for a while, my friends and I finally decided to get our act together. We decided I should probably go to the nurse and get some ice so that the third eye on my forehead might go down in size a little bit. We walked across the school to the nurse while I held my hand over my head in a desperate attempt not to humiliate myself by having someone see me like this. I sat in the nurse for awhile icing my head. More people kept stopping by the nurse to see what it looked like in person, because they just did not believe the pictures that  my friends sent around were real. It was one of those instances where you just have to see it to believe it. 

The swelling eventually went down with help from the ice pack, but there was still a bump there nonetheless. Having to walk around to all my afternoon classes and have people staring and have to explain the story to all my friends in my classes was quite a chore and a little embarrassing, but I survived. In conclusion, if you are going to try and be sneaky, at least try and be smart about it, too.

            As I was thinking of something personal to write, I was having trouble thinking of something that mattered enough to write about. I try very hard to move on quickly and not dwell on certain things. I try to stay on the positive side because I am aware that many people have terrible things happen to them and everything could be so much worse. I don’t think much happens to me or around me and I’m living a merely simple life. As I continued to think, my recent break-up came to mind. Although it is super cliché, it is very important to me at the moment and very difficult for me. It was a learning experience to say the least.

            I was with my boyfriend for almost two years. He was my first actual relationship. We started things off when he was a freshman in high school and I was a junior. At first, people were very hesitant to accept the age difference because, in high school, everything is a big deal. When we first started dating, I didn’t care what anyone thought and I was so crazy about him. We had a lot of fun and really wanted to be together. After about the first six months, I started to notice a pattern. I was constantly the one making all the plans, trying to hangout with him, including myself, etc. He is a really big surfer and would always tell me that “surfing comes first” and there was nothing I could do about it. I would always notice him choosing his friends over me and never inviting me to events or things with his family. I would constantly try to include myself and always sort of felt out of place and that he did not want me there because of this. At homecoming my senior year, I finally brought up the issues, and everything went downhill from there. He did not understand my concerns and felt everything was fine.  We were together for about nine more months after the issues were brought up, having nothing changed and the patterns still remained.

            Throughout our relationship, he would never take me out on a date or try to spend dedicated time with me. If we were to go out, I would always hold back what I want because I never wanted him to go eat somewhere he didn’t like. In a year and a half we went out to eat only a handful of times. About four months ago, we went to one of my favorite restaurants. I had been trying to plan a date with him for a while and I was super excited about it. During dinner, he barely said anything to me. I felt guilty the whole time making him take me somewhere I knew he didn’t really enjoy, even though he knew that it was my favorite restaurant. The next time we went out, I paid for everything because I did not want to feel that guilt again. Guilt was always something I felt with him. I always felt terrible making him do anything I even had the slightest feeling he did not want to do.

            I was constantly told by my friends, parents, peers, his family even, that I could do better, and that I should break up with him. Although I saw that we had issues, I saw him as more than everyone else did, and I saw the little things he did try to do for me. I would constantly make excuses for him and make him look better to everyone else. I think I was always just waiting around for a little more. I am a super easy-going person and I see the effort that everyone puts into the smallest things. I try to make everyone feel appreciated and he never saw that. I am convinced now that he saw me as a burden, and I feel as though I was in the way of what he wanted to do. All I really wanted to do was be his best friend. I did not require much attention; I did not want him to worship me at his hands and feet. I simply just wanted to be equals that treat each other with respect and love whilst being best friends.

            Towards the ending of our relationship, I know he saw me as needy and annoying and “yelling” at him all the time. I always sort of felt stuck with my emotions because everything was always only on his terms. What he wanted was how it went, and I could do nothing about that. He never took the time to see how much I was putting in the relationship or what I was doing for him. Even now, I would give him the world and ask for nothing in return. I have come to terms with how things are. The only thing that scares me or hurts me more than anything, is having to eventually see him with someone else. 

            We broke up when I was nannying on a vacation in South Carolina with two families I regularly babysit for. I was trying to make a day of plans for us because before I left for this trip, he was in Florida. I hadn’t seen him in a while, and I was excited to see him and make a fun day out of it. As he knew how excited I was and how much effort I was putting into it, he seemed totally uninterested and I just knew he didn’t care. I called him upset and we argued about how what I was saying was ridiculous and basically, I was wrong., once again. At the end of the phone call, it was decided we were breaking up. I asked him if we could wait until I get back but he kept saying he “didn’t want to do this anymore” and I had no say of what was happening. I had to pretend everything was okay and that I was okay throughout the rest of the trip.

            As I look back on the relationship now, I would not have changed anything. I believe it has made me smarter and wiser already in the last two months since we have been broken up. I miss him very much and I know that what we had was special. I’m not sure if I would ever get back together with him, although, I know I will always love him and care about him more than he will know. I understand that he maybe was not mature enough to handle a relationship or understand what it meant to be in a relationship. I do not hold that against him and only hope that this situation helps him grow. Looking back now, I see how everything played out and I realized I knew when things were over. I had known for about the last six months we were together that things were over, and I think I prepared myself for a while. Unfortunately, I think it will take me a very long time to get over him. One thing that still bothers me, is that everything seems fine on his side. I always tried so hard to do the best for him and make him happy, while getting nothing in return, and I am still the one stuck and was always the one hurting. I feel a sense of relief, although, nothing is the same and I just wanted everything to be okay.  It is stuck in the back of my mind that I did everything wrong and I am afraid that he looks at me and talks about me negatively. I am still trying so hard just to be friends with him, still getting very little in return. 

            I have taken this experience as a growing opportunity. I have learned that everything does happen for a reason. I have learned that you cannot change a person for who they are. I have learned that it is okay to do things for yourself. I have also learned that unfortunately, no matter how many times someone tells you something, it is not always true. It has been very hard for me to look at everything positively, but I believe that is the only way I will be able to move forward. I am choosing to not be mad at him or hold anything against him. It was simply just wrong timing and we were just not compatible. As much as I tried or could have continued to try, everything happens for a reason and there is nothing I can do about any of it. Staying positive is all there is to do.

It was an April morning in 2016 when I had my first panic attack. It felt like any other day as I was walking to the subway when I was hit with an uncontrollable wave of panic for seemingly no reason. My heart started pounding, my legs became weak, and I felt out of touch with reality. I stayed home from school that day, hoping it would go away and that it was just a one-time thing. However, these feelings stayed consistent during the entire day, then the next few weeks, then several months, and are still with me today.

It was at my first therapy session soon after where I finally figured out what was causing these feelings — an anxiety disorder. After I became fully comfortable with therapy, I decided to open up to my friends about what I had been dealing with. I sat my closest friends down on the couches in the lounge at school and explained what they had all been wondering — what had been going on with me for the past few months. I was so relieved when I found out that I wasn’t alone — many of them had anxiety disorders too and some still did do today.

Coming to college has been one of the biggest challenges I’ve had to face in terms of dealing with my anxiety. It’s a scary transition for most people, but I feel like I have particularly been put at a disadvantage because of my anxiety disorder and the ability it has had in the past to hold me back from doing things I would normally love. College is supposed to be all about putting yourself “out there” and pushing outside of your comfort zone but sometimes it’s the last thing I want to do because all I can focus is my anxiety.

My anxiety changed me as a person in good and bad ways. At first, I tried to run away from how I was feeling because I couldn’t understand it and didn’t think anyone else would. I’ve realized that what dealing with anxiety has made me more self-aware, and also more aware of how other people are feeling and what they might be going through. I want to become the person that my friends or family can come to with anything because I knew what it felt like to have no one to go to with your problems. I have learned more about myself through dealing with anxiety than I have through any other experience, and whether I like it or not, anxiety is a part of my identity and affects me every day of my life.

On Thanksgiving day in 2007, my dad and I had gone to my aunt and uncle’s house for dinner. As usual, my cousins and my dad decided to play outside while my aunt prepared everything and I joined. The boys played catch with the football. I was not up for playing football so I decided on riding the tricycle. Once the tricycle was out, I took it up on the deck. There wasn’t much room up there but I continued to ride in small circles. Little did I know that I would learn a lesson about how life knocks you down, even when you least expect it. 

            I continued to ride the tricycle and wait for my family to finish up their catch. One of my cousins decided he wanted to throw the ball as hard as he could at my dad. Here is where things get unfortunate, as my dad missed the ball. This is one of those times where life seems so full of opportunities and then it all shatters. The football hit me dead in the head and I was knocked off of my tricycle. I laid on the deck with the tricycle over me and I cried. I did not move because I was too busy crying in pain and embarrassment. My family felt no remorse for destroying my hope and ambition in life. My father and my cousins howled with laughter at me. They did not make the situation any better as they ran inside to tell everyone else about what had happened. 

My uncle and aunt came outside to see what was going on. Upon seeing my little body stretched out under a tricycle, my uncle could not contain himself and did just what my cousins and dad had done. As I cried even more, my aunt picked me up and brought me inside to take care of me. She soothed me by giving me some snacks and she cleaned up my scratches. I felt better and my family had managed to stop laughing every ten seconds. I was still hurt a little from the fall but it felt good to get up and have fun again. I was happier that I wasn’t hurt anymore rather than be upset that I had been hurt. 

We sat down around the table to eat, and my dad offered to make my plate. He had asked if I wanted turkey or ham. I requested the ham and waited as my dad put together a plate for me. When he was finished, he put it in front of me and I immediately went for the ham only to find out my aunt had cooked it with an excessive amount of orange zest. To say the least, it tasted awful. I complained as a six-year-old does and was met with a response that I was not too happy to hear. 

“You picked ham, you better finish it all.” 

Could this day get any worse? I had just started to feel better and my day went downhill again. I ate the ham at the pace of a slug running a marathon. Once I was finished, I realized it was worth it because apparently the turkey tasted even worse as my cousins were still slowly chewing theirs. My aunt placed my pie in front of me and I masked the taste of orange ham with pumpkin. Once again, my inconvenience passed and I was happy that it was over. This day was a series of ups and downs, however it was worth it. My pain felt like it would never end to six-year-old me, but when it did, I understood the ‘beauty of pain’. While my falls felt so much worse than my small wins, I was able to appreciate my wins that much more. Getting knocked down will always be worth it, because standing back up is so gratifying.

The purpose of this story is to explain the concept of following your instincts, trusting your gut, or whatever you may call that feeling alerting you of any red flags. Unfortunately, in my case, and probably $10,000 later, I didn’t follow that feeling.

For some background, my paternal grandparents have been going to Lake George, New York for 40 years and have had a house there for over 30. They’re high school sweethearts who come from Italian backgrounds. My grandma, Aurelia (Aury), is one of the best, toughest women I know. My grandpa, Paul, is equally as tough and caring as Aury and the best storyteller. They’ve shared many memories of their lives and treasured summers at the lake with me and my brother. Christofer, my younger brother by three years, is a soccer star and all-around smart kid. Unfortunately, he’s the worst backseat driver alive.

My parents say we’re lucky to have each other and reminisce of memories with their respective siblings. My dad, John, shares many traits with his parents and is sarcastic as ever. My mom, Andrea, though she’s not exactly the same as my dad, she’s caring and funny. I’m grateful we have such a strong bond, but in the moments that split us up, I thought it was all my fault.

August 2017, the exact date I don’t remember, started out a very good day. All six of us were staying at the lake house for a week and decided to take the boat out for the day. Our house is at the top of the hill of our association, but we don’t mind as we trek our coolers and towels down the slope to see the gorgeous, sparkling water. The lake is as clear and flat as could be– a perfect boat day– or so we thought. Our boat is in the third slip of the far dock. She’s nearly 20 years old, a black and white Four Winns my grandparents named, “RTyme.Com”. Typical. We all hop aboard and my grandpa takes us over to “Sandy Bay” for some sun and sandwiches. We enjoy our day and decide to keep moving, after a few hours, to an area up north called “the narrows.”

As we near halfway, I hesitantly ask to drive, Chris groaning in response.

“Sure, sweetheart, why not? You’re a good driver,” My grandpa agrees while my grandma chimes in:

“Paul, I would much rather you drive. You know I feel more comfortable when you’re driving?”

“Grandma you don’t trust me!?” I laugh from the wheel, over the crackling speakers and wind, not turning around. 

We all joke together as I continue driving at ease. I’m familiar with the lake and the rules that follow. My grandpa and dad taught Chris and me everything we know, while being patient teachers. 

Later, my mom asks if we could head back, beginning to pack up, although it’s 30 minutes back. My dad agrees and points me to turn between two islands I’d never seen.

“Dad, are you sure I can turn here? Is this a no wake zone, I don’t see any buoys, grandpa, what do you think?” I continue going straight attempting to find another place to turn.

“John, you or your father should drive, Jenna doesn’t know where she’s going and I don’t think this is the place we normally turn.”

“Relax, Andrea, she’s fine. Jenna turn here,” my dad continues, standing with me and my grandpa.

“Grandpa?” I nearly whisper.

“I think you’re doing great, honey, turn left just a tad, you’re good to go,” he responds with ease. I wasn’t sure where to go, with my family arguing over which was the right way. My dad and my grandpa know the lake the best. As we near the islands, my dad puts a hand on my shoulder,

“Don’t listen to the idiots in the back, you know what you’re doing. Just let up a bit here and you should be good all the way through.” I pull back on the gas as I turn through. I sigh, relaxing my hands at the wheel, as yelling in the back stops. Everything was okay. All the sudden there’s a screeching noise and scratching feeling from the bottom of the boat. My fingers re-clench the wheel as my eyes widen. A thud in the back stops our yelling as my grandma screams:

“Paul I want you to drive right now!” My dad gives her a hand back up as I let my grandpa takeover and sit alone. I begin to shake and tears pool my eyes, as I try to hold them back.  

We make it home safe, as we dock my grandpa pulls me aside: “It was my fault this happened, Jenna, don’t worry we’ll take care of it.”

As it turns out, it wasn’t anybody’s fault. The owner of a marina alerted my grandpa that the water level was down quite a few inches that day. My grandparents decided to take us all out to an upscale restaurant for dinner to try to forget about the day. Although the day ended well, the point of this story wasn’t to come to a happy ending. What I learned from this experience is that no matter what people are telling you, to always follow your instincts. Only you can tell what is right for you, whether you feel like you’re going the wrong direction on a boat or you don’t think going out with your friends is a good idea, there’s only one way to feel comfortable. While this story ends happily, some may not. Follow your gut, understand what is right for you, make your own decisions.